Dubitus: This special individual with the looks of a diva and the charm of
a soothsayer is a hunter of a special kind. A favour hunter, of the purest
socialite breed. His daily mission is to constantly prowl for opportunities, a
lion in the jungle without boundaries of the "could-be", collecting
social connections like others collect stamps, throwing his invisible lasso at
the unsuspecting victims, stashing their names in his bottomless hat with all
his list of contacts. Working hard, being unstoppable at widening his already
vast web of connections, his private network. This social predator is what I
would call a “networkist”. The networkist is a
natural state of mind, a biological pre-determination, or, simply, a way
to be. Nobody can become one if one's not born with it.
Innocentia: The networkist is a charmer whose hobby and deep seeded passion is juggling jobs, with the perfect gig being the next one. A restless character, he is a professional opportunity seeker, a job charmer who totally dismisses the competence as the prerequisite to acquire professional success. He doesn't need to add competence to his panoply of skills. That could actually become detrimental to his genuine nature that relies on his strong predilection for social foray, and personal adventure. The competent individual is most of times a distracting bore and even a pain in the ass, because he is obsessed by thoroughness, terrorized by the prevalence of quality, hopelessly entrapped in the bottomless pit of perfection, overjoyed to take good challenges only for the sake of overcoming them, over generous with the time spent on wrestling cohorts of details, waiting only for a brief nod to unleash his creativity. Plus he demands from his co-workers what most of them hate the most: an uncompromising passion for the things well done..
Dubitus: A bad apple, if you ask me… A bamboozler in the making.
Innocentia: The networkist is an easy going fella. He is the pretty boy. The kind of person everybody loves and looks for him in a group of people discussing weather, during the lunch break. He speaks the language of everybody, and everybody feels at home in his presence. Being with him is like being with the older brother one hasn't seen for a while. The networkist is a flashy colorful, smooth and slippery chameleon. If the act requires, he can pose into anything, he can dress any clothes, including the ruffled ones belonging to a competent guy sweating up his solutions. How is he doing that? Easy: the networkist has a basic set of work related knowledge (they don't call that for nothing base knowledge), which he recycles dutifully in any conversation, in any written message, at any time of the day. By displaying both courtesy and knowledge, he ends up convincing everyone that he could do it, if only - this is where his mastery becomes evident -, if only the proper environment would be in place. Which means not now, not there. Everybody listening to him nods in agreement and nobody asks: And then when and where, mister? When and where are we going to find that ideal workplace where the people have everything they need to deliver and prove themselves, and if they don’t, it’s entirely their fault. Oh, the world we live in! The humanity! Most of the workplaces are just reasons for excuses, fortresses of mediocrity with thick walls of indiference. The networkist knows that reality so well. He’s so good at detecting and capitalizing on peoples' frustrations, their needs to hide behind gripe, to avoid commitment, to get away without doing it. The networkist enjoys the non-committal environments, he supports them with all his heart. If he is passionate about something, then that’s the non-action, the front seat of the spectator who waits for the cancelled show, knowing that that’s going to happen. His only aim is to always go around the issues, to run away of problems, to advance by skipping the commitment, to consolidate his position in the organization just by knowing the right people in the right places. Those people will support him when need be, will warrant for him no matter what, and they will even fight for him. Our boy, our dear boy! These people are going to be his army of active fans. His personal cheerleaders, his private team of salesmen with a single product to sell: his successful professional life. And what does he need to do to accomplish that? Not too much, you'd be tempted to say, by looking at what he says or does. Everything, a networking science pundit would reply.
Dubitus: But I...
Innocentia: The networkist is an easy going fella. The pretty boy. The kind of guy everybody loves. He speaks the language of everybody, and everybody feels at home in his presence. being with him is like being with the older brother one hasn't seen for a while. The networkist is a flashy, slippery chameleon. If the act requires, he can pose into anything, he can dress any clothes, including the ruffled ones belonging to a competent guy sweating up his solutions. How is he doing that? Easy: the networkist has a basic set of work related knowledge (they don't call it for nothing base knowledge), which he recycles in any conversation, in any written message, at any time of the day. By displaying both courtesy and knowledge, he ends up convincing everyone that he could do it, if only - this is where his mastery lies -, if only the proper environment would be in place. Which means not now, not here. Everybody listening to him nods in agreement and nobody asks: And then when and where, mister? When and where are we going to find that workplace where the people have everything they need to deliver and prove themselves, and if they don’t, then it’s entirely their fault. Oh, the world we live in! Most of the workplaces are just enforced reasons for excuses. The networkist knows that very well. He senses so well the peoples' frustrations, their needs to hide behind reason, to avoid commitment, to not doing it. The networkist enjoys the non-committal environments, he supports them with all his heart. If he is passionate on something, it's the non-action, the sit of the spectator that waits for a cancelled show. His only aim is to always go around, to leave and prosper by skipping the commitment, to consolidate his position in the organization just by knowing the right people in the right places. Those people will support him when need be, will warrant for him no matter what, and they will even fight for him. Our boy, our dear boy! These people are going to be his army of active fans. His personal cheerleaders, his private team of salesmen with a single product to sell: his successful professional life. And what does he need to do to accomplish that? Not too much, you'd be tempted to say, by looking at what he says or does. Everything, a networking guru would reply.
First off, he needs to display a pleasant stance, in any occasion. If he is naturally endowed with a well-proportioned and attractive body, the battle is half won. If is a man, he should avoid displaying the macho features: those end up intimidating, overwhelming, imposing, and this is the last thing a networkist needs, to intimidate people, to chase them away through negligent display of social power. Angelic traits are the best sale: those attract the fans, they make them feel comfortable because they think he’s an easy going, a dear, a lovable chap. The peoples' guy. He also needs to dress neatly, and properly. Fancy or rebellious clothes may scare his potential networks, they may spawn the impression that he’s unreliable, superficial or simply tasteless. Main stream clothes, main stream hair cut, main stream shoes, main stream opinions, all these should do it. Then the smile, the permanent smile on his face. The sign of him being there for anybody who needs him, ready to listen, happy to oblige. The guy you can always rely on. If need be, and if the stakes are high, the networkist will ante up with the image of his own family: a good looking and pleasant wife, soft spoken and delicate, who’s always saying the right words, and a pair of two children, two angels nicely dressed, well behaved, not saying anything about those curly strands of hair falling playfully over their foreheads. Cute little darlings!
Dubitus: You made me really curious with your latest statements. I'm intrigued now... Why so much fuss about a bunch of trivial things? What’s required to become a successful networkist, beside a ton of luck cominde with two tons of s…?
Innocentia: First off, he needs to display a pleasant stance, in any occasion. If he is naturally endowed with a well-proportioned and attractive body, the battle is half won. If is a man we’re talking about here, he should avoid displaying the macho features: those end up intimidating, overwhelming, imposing, and this is the last thing a networkist needs, to intimidate people, to chase them away through a negligent display of social power. Angelic traits are the best sale: those attract the fans, they make them feel comfortable because they think they finally found their easy going, dear heart, lovable chap. The peoples' person. He also needs to pay attention to how he dresses. Fancy or rebellious clothes may scare his potential networks, they may create the impression that he’s kind of a dandy, unreliable, superficial or simply tasteless. Main stream clothes, main stream haircut, main stream shoes, main stream opinions, all these should do it. Then the smile, that permanent, charming smile sculptured on the corner of his lips. Not authoritative or haughty, just warm, welcoming. The sign stuck on the door, saying “We’re open for business” for anybody who needs him, ready to listen, happy to oblige. The guy you can always rely on. If need be, and if the stakes are high, the networkist will ante up and throw on the table the image of his own family: a good looking and pleasant wife, soft spoken and delicate, who’s always saying the right words, and a pair of two children, two angels nicely dressed, well behaved, not to mention anything about those curly strands of hair falling playfully over their foreheads. Cute little darlings!
Dubitus: Plain clichés, nothing else. Lots of BS, if you ask me…
Innocentia: The networkist is everyone’s sweetheart, the champion of it all, he is IT. And not even you can negate that, right?
Dubitus: No, noo, nooo. You're dead wrong,
lady! Like any other time you tried to persuade me, and you wouldn't even let
me talk. Your so-called networkist couldn’t care less about his plain army of
dumb cheerleaders: the more the idiots, the better. The rule of thumb is that
in a bunch of morons there is going to be at least one to jump in the fire for
you, the sacrificial network lamb. And let’s make the things clear, lady: I
totally understand there's no fun in wasting one's time just to please
imbeciles with power, who end up hovering excited around you, all buzzing like
crazed up bees attracted by a big pile of sugar or something else melting in
the sun. Of course he hates their noisy presence, their stupid, almighty
self-confidence, their boisterous, in your face arrogance, their messed up
thinking in bad need of resetting, their repetitive jokes which are clear signs
of diminished imagination. But he needs them because among them, at some point
in the future, he’s going to spot the fat, ugly face of the providential guy,
the guy who’s going to help him to reach his goal. And what with those
politically correct stances... He hates them from the depth of his guts. But
they are his second nature. He's got to use them many times, like a tennis
player practicing the same moves over and over, with his close ones, with
friends, and relatives, and even with his wife, during those lengthy, boring,
never ending week-ends spent indoors, watching tv, teasing the children,
because not a single moron in his network had the good idea to call him over
for dinner and chat. The networkist is a lonely wolf. But so is the world
surrounding him. Half of it being populated by fellow networkists. And this is
the biggest trap for them of all. In spite of the appearance which should point
to the contrary, the risk of witnessing the networkists' extinction in some not
so distant future is real. The loose around the networkists' necks can get
really tight. Their disappearance can happen unexpectedly, can be triggered by
an apparently insignificant event, some day, somewhere: a large neighborhood in
the outskirts of a big city could end up being inhabited only by networkists,
who are going to enter into dead lock relations. I need your help! No, I need
your help! Because I forgot to mention a basic principle: a networkist can
never be the object of a networking. He is nobody’s network, that is his true
nature, and that's that. The disease of the "dead lock networking"
will then spread to the city, then to the province, and the whole country may
end up being engulfed by it. The death of the social networking could rival the
extinction of the dynosaurs on a historical scale.
Innocentia: Did I tell you about this other
guy? Very neatly dressed, angelic face, good manners, pretty good joker, I'd
say having a touch of shoulda-woulda-coulda comedian in him. Nice family:
remarkable house, remarkable wife, remarkable kids. Although no pets, he hates
pets. Everything being remarkable with his life, except his own life.
Incompetent and demotivated at work, he's been already proposed for a
promotion. And I’m already fighting for him. Because I’m in his private circle
of cheerleaders, I’m in his network. I will do whatever I can for this guy!
