Falling in Love

I didn’t love you
when I first met you,
I was just obsessed with your body,
covered by the elusive shadows
of the perverse joys,
enchanted by your long legs,
dazzled by your hair, black, long, shinny
blowing on my cheeks like a forest kissed by the wind,
I craved your thick lips,
tasty like the sweet juice of the freshly harvested grapes,
I filled my eyes with the sight of your breasts
made by a genius angel skilled at sculpting painful beauties
with his bare hands,
and night after night I was chained by an insatiable lovemaking
which asked for more lovemaking
in an endless, contagious ritual


I started to love you
when I let myself out
from my self-imposed cell,
from the sweet prison of carnal desire,
and I realized
that your sweat leaves a heavy odor when your body works hard,
and your skin gets drier and gets crinkly,
and your breath is heavy with the sour scent
left by the night’s constant wrestling
with the dreams’ dragons
in the zigzagged corridors of the sleep,
and your hair is a mess
when you wake up in the morning beside me
and you ask without words
to be caressed
and want me to tell you without words
that I need you,
that love you,
while your stomach growls like a hungry beast


I started to love you when I noticed
that you talk in your sleep,
that you let a belch out loud when nobody’s around,
that you puke with a grunt when you’re sick,
that you swear when you drive,
that you confront your nightmares without fear,
struggling,
fighting,
screaming,
that you become a bitch
when the hormones take over your judgment,
in the monthly ritual of renewal,
that you laugh with a shrill and you cry with a grudge,
that you’re scared of snakes, of ghosts, of owls,
that you could cheat on me,
or sell me,
or hate me,
or hit me,
or say no to me and everything I am,
but in any case
you wouldn’t hurt me


I totally fell in love with you
the moment I discovered
that both of us walk together on the same stone path,
made from the crumbling marble of the day,
jumping from year to year,
towards our own pre-designed destruction,
that we share the same space,
the same flight in the deep sky,
two travelers through the quiet tempests of space,
on a ship called Earth,
that we felt the same thirst,
the same strong desire
to be protected, lucky, loved,
the same chance to sin or be sinned against,
the same odds to be weak, or sly, or helpless,
the same doubt that there’s life after death,
the same certainty that there’s young and then old,
there’s life and then death


I loved you deeply
when I realized
that you are like me,
so much like me that I can look at you
and see the perfect replica of myself
in a mirror

Forever Young

Someone pulled out my son
from the child he was,
the cute, cherubic boy,
with curled, blond hair,
the eyes of a playful squirrel,
and the laugh
that made the anger sound 
like a bad joke

Someone reeled him out ,
stretched him out
into a man,
who smells like a man,
walks like a man,
talks like a man,
laughs like a man,
is boring and strong,
like a man

That someone,
or someone else
forgot about me,
left me the same,
young and frail and vain,
a prisoner of the youth’s 
4 “i”-repressibles:
impressible,
irresponsible,
irreconcilable,
irreverent

Looking at people
and seeing no one,
looking at things
and seeing too many,
deaf to the past, blind to the future,
drowned in the present

And here I’m walking the stone path
in the green, lush park
of my paternity,
with my son beside me
his hand in my hand,
not paying attention to his questions,
because they are so many,
so childishly complicated,
“daddy, why is the sky blue then black then blue again?”
“daddy, why are the trees green? I like more yellow trees, or blue!”
“daddy, where do the people go after they die?”
and
wishing I could tell him something else than
“no clue” or “don’t know” or “uh-hmm”
and think something else than
“give me a break, kiddo”
but I am so young,
and so full of my inner voice,
listening to it only,
so full of my own portrait,
looking at it only,
the rest of the world crammed in me,
stashed in the corridors unoccupied by me,
still having enough space
to host
the rest of the universe.

And that’s okay,
it feels good,
to be young, and have a young child,
cut through the young forest
of trees of life
still in bud,
step on its carpet of moss
made of dreams unconsumed,
drink in the morning dew of the lake,
inhale the breathe
of the day ahead,
ignore my son’s questions,
because l have enough time
to answer his serious questions

Which will never come,
because my son has grown too quickly
into a man
and he’s not hanging of my hand,
he’s not even near in sight

Nobody pulled me out from my own self
to reel me out,
to stretch me into the old man
I should be,
okay,
I have wrinkles
and my hair receded
and my belly is flabby and my teeth are yellow,
and my nails are cracked and my ideas are outdated,
my tastes out-fashioned,
and my back hurts,
and my eyes are losing their shine,
and my memory gets fade
while I say that it plays tricks to me
and laugh like of a good joke,
but other than that
there’s nothing else
worth to mention

Hey, you,
whoever you are,
wherever you are,
whatever you do,
be a god or a creator or just a lame saltimbanco,
or all of these
together,
you forgot about me
you left me young
and careless to my child’s needs,
oblivious to his questions,
he’s now a grown-up man
and the way the things move
someday he’s going to be older than I am
and I don’t find that
quite normal

Tagadim-Tagadam

Tagadim-tagadam
viața-i un maidan
pe-o autostradă


Conduci ca o moaca’n dimineata asta, o sa pierd trenu’.
Nu din cauza mea il pierzi, ci din cauza ta,
a jumatatii de ora
petrecuta in pat, degeaba,
dupa ce ceasul a sunat desteptarea.
Ba cred ca nu, pe tine te-apuica dusul la wc de fiecare data
cand trebioe sa plecam!
Faci din exceptie regula, madam!
Iar tu trebuie sa ai tot timpul dreptate, nu? Smart ass, that’s who you are!
Fuck it, man!
Did you say fuck you?
No. I said fuck it!
You know something, te-ai invatat sa vorbesti ca un birjar!
Iar tu o tii intr-una, trance-tranca,vorbe fara rost!
Auzi, am ajuns sa ma injuri!
N-auzi ca am zis fuck it, femeie? Ori nu mai auzi?


The serpent with two eyes,
one yellow, one red,
dragonul nascut pe-autostrada
plina de vii, punctata de morti,
ne fug anii de sub noi pe roti,
in timp ce
eu fug, fug, fug,
tu fugi fugi fugi,
spre nimicul final,
fugind prin nimicul actual.
Fuck it, man!


One eye popping out, arrested,
its yellow venom dripping down,
one eye sunking in, bloody, congested,
the smokey drgaon of the Lord of Drive,
living in his castle of motion,
huge building without walls


Tagadam-tagadim,
Moartea e cucoana mare
Cu fundu’n cinci viteze,
Cu cracii’n patru roti,
Totul e nimic
Gros, adanc, in perpetua miscare,
Soarele e prins pe bolta
In trei pioneze

Tagadim-tagadam,
eu crestin, el musulman
amandoi marcati ca vitele,
la islaz,
identitatile inca sfaraind pe pielea parlita,
marcata de jugul cu carbuni al sistemului
You’re afraid of the system,
he writes to me,
You’re scared of their punch,
They record everything,
They leave you with no hunch,
They are the substitute for god,
They’re the baddest of the bad
Stand up and talk,
Raise your voice,
Curse,
Fight back,
Die!


Islamul si Crestinismmul au aceleasi radacini, el zice,
Fratele meu se duce la Mecca, el zice,
La sarbatoarea profetului Abraham, el zice,
Hold on, this is our guy, the biblic Abraham, I say
The guy with lots of wives, plenty of mojo, I say
You see, he sais,
We’re the same
Aggressive in difference,
Quiet in identity


Tadgadam-tagadim,
Carnivore in cutii de table,
Gonind spre daily unsafe havens,
With our violence justified,
By our needs to move,
To act,
To speed up,
Towards our own nothingness.
Modernism,
Paganism,
Simturi vesnic flamande,
Ochi vesnic deschisi,
Marsave creaturi,
Oameni mici, oameni mari,
criminali,
We are serial killers,
Ferocious carnivores who don’t stop at eating for need,
They need to gorge in for pleasure


Why the fuck they stopped?
Da, ce dracului se-intampla?
They just like to look, man,
They enjoy a brother in distress!
Suntem maimute curioase,
Scarmam prin cenusa mortii dupa palpairi de viata,
We don’t give the life,
We just take it,
Or shorten it
We won’t stop till we make sure
we seeded the destruction,
we won’t stop till we make sure
the death is an ominous  shadow
on a  sunny patch of grass


Tagadim-tagadam
What? The stupid cats are out? Who the heck let them out?
No, no, cand am plecat erau okay.
You better watch your language, son
No, dad, I didn ‘t mean that
You fucking moron,
I hate you
I wish you dead,
You think that if you’re my boss you can control me,
You can annihilate me?
Ce dracului e cariera decat o vorba goala ca sa tii natafletii
Pe jarul muncii?
Do I make the money?
No
Do you make the money?
No
Does he make the money?
Yes. His wife is cheating on him. E bolnav de cancer. He’s done
Life is fair.


Tagadam-tagadim
Viata e un tobogan
Spre moarte.


It’s been years, or better minutes, or better seconds,
Or better nothing in between,
Since I was young
Si visam
And I was dreaming
The fiery sand of Las Vegas
Arizona in flacari,
Canioanele pline cu apa oceanului antagonizat
De pielea uscata a planetei
A car undulating its body,
Alluring the night ghost,
On the endless, dark road
Transparenta, translucida,
Goala ca promisiunea vietii de apoi,
Un pieton a calcat cu stangul
in balta de lumina a strazii,
Lasata de ploaia zilei
It’s the rain of my undone promises,
Of my shattered dreams,
The puddle of my memories,
Easily evaporated
In the scorch of the forgetfulness
It’s the repeatable identity,
Of my irrepetable life


Traim numai o data,
What’s the hurry,
Ce-I atata graba?
Trage de timp,
Hold off the exit
From the highway
Better moving without purpose,
Than dead, still, stiff,
Aneantizat
Frumos cuvant,
splendida jacheta,
pentru un act brutal


Tagadam-tagadim
Alunec spre vadul adanc
Al vietii mele
Cu moarte,
Al tinereteii mele
Cu batranete


Looking in the back window
To see the car behind me,
Take a good look at
the asshole who keeps honking,
descopar un strain
Uitandu-se la mine cu ochii mari, adanci, obositi
Looks like me,
He is me.
Is that you?
Maybe, I don’t know
Nu stiu exact ce vreau,
Deocamdata ma uit pe cer,
Cool, white clouds,
Albi si creti ca oile,
Din curtea bunicilor
Pe ca nu i-am cunoscut,
Dar i-am avur cu siguranta.
Every single human being
Who breathed the scarce air
Of this stifling planet
Had a pair of parents,
Two pairs of grandparents,
Mayne not breathing the air of the planet,
In the same time with them


Traiesc prezentul
Hurrraaaayyy!
I’m free!
Are you?
Am I?


Tagadam-tagadim
Is that all?
Asta e tot?
Viata neroada
Pe-o autostrada